The life and times of a firefighter with an amazing wife, two daughters, a very big God sovereign over all ... and no job yet.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
on a difficult morning
Today has been a difficult one. I couldn't decide which picture to chose b/c they both express how i feel at the moment, so i just put both of them up. Just feeling confused and frustrated as i got word (or didn't, i should say) that i will not be testing for Kamloops and didn't make it past the resume screening. Now i've gotten 'nos' before and that is never easy but i had a great deal of expectation about this process as my dad works for the department and a number of other 'should-be positives' that i won't bother to list. Needless to say it caught me very much off guard this morning when i saw that i wouldn't be moving on with Kamloops and i am struggling and praying hard against what feesl like a crushing weight of discouragement. I don't understand. I just don't get it. It changes nothing of what i believe about God or His sovereign control over all things. But it also just stings and presses and i'm reeling at the moment. I know i'll land safely in His mighty hands; as the hymn writer said, 'leave, ah, leave me not alone, support and comfort me.' Love your prayers. Love to know what's next.