Tuesday, April 20, 2010

on a difficult morning

     Today has been a difficult one.  I couldn't decide which picture to chose b/c they both express how i feel at the moment, so i just put both of them up.  Just feeling confused and frustrated as i got word (or didn't, i should say) that i will not be testing for Kamloops and didn't make it past the resume screening. Now i've gotten 'nos' before and that is never easy but i had a great deal of expectation about this process as my dad works for the department and a number of other 'should-be positives' that i won't bother to list.  Needless to say it caught me very much off guard this morning when i saw that i wouldn't be moving on with Kamloops and i am struggling and praying hard against what feesl like a crushing weight of discouragement.  I don't understand.  I just don't get it.  It changes nothing of what i believe about God or His sovereign control over all things.  But it also just stings and presses and i'm reeling at the moment.  I know i'll land safely in His mighty hands; as the hymn writer said, 'leave, ah, leave me not alone, support and comfort me.'  Love your prayers.  Love to know what's next.

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