So my oldest daughter completes her swimming lessons the other day and we have this big celebration all planned for moving on to the next level. Then right at the beginning of the lesson , the teacher hands out the 'report cards' and it says she needs to repeat the same lesson again ... Comments say things like ,'doing really well' and 'so close'; she even has a check in every box required to pass but one! And yet still, the message at the bottom of the page is, "Please re-resister for pre-school Turtles 1". And the whole lesson i'm going through this inner struggle of the fairness of life and i'm planning all the things i'm gonna say to the teacher - half accusing and angry, half asking and meek. But the 'moment of truth' comes and the teacher explains very simply why she's not ready ... and i get that voice in my head that i've come to recognize now from many conversations with my wife that says, "....ohhhh crap ... she's totally right." And so i collect up our things and hug my girl into her towel and tell her how proud i am of how well she did and how much she accomplished and we go home.
Later that day, i got to thinking if maybe that scenario isn't just what God is doing with me right now with regards to getting hired as a firefighter. Maybe my 'report card' has a whole lot of 'checks' but still one or two missing and a gentle "you're so close Wesley but just not quite ready for that job I have for you yet", from a loving Father who knows far better than anyone (even me) what i am, and am not, ready for. i know He's right b/c He's God so, even if i don't feel like i'm not ready, i'll wait for the next 'lesson' and pray that that will be the time the report comes back that i'm ready for this next responsibility. Living God - as ever - increase my faith. Soli Deo gloria.
great thoughts!! - Barton
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